Silver Linings, The C Word

A Little Slower This Chemo Round

How am I feeling? A little slower this chemo round. It’s a bit different than the last. I think I just had my ass kicked a little.

The medicine and all of that is the same, but as they told me, every round can be different. And it has been. Going home hooked up seemed a little more heavy on my mind this time.

Port Connected


I didn’t feel wired 24/7. Each night was filled with sleep, and I wanted more. I would have been content with curling up in bed all day long. But that’s not me. I choose little cat naps, here and there. One night I crawled into bed around 8 p.m. and woke up at 7:30 a.m. the next morning. That has never been me, but it’s me right now.

Food isn’t too appealing. One friend gave us two huge pans of enchiladas. I had some and they were delicious, but the thought of them does nothing for me now. Another friend brought over BBQ Chicken & Roasted Sweet Potato Bowls. I hope I get to have some before my kids eat it all! I’m not feeling nauseous, just not hungry.

I can feel the neuropathy kicking in. My toes tingle and my fingers feel like pins and needles. But it goes away. Even after being disconnected from the chemo, and heading home, this little piece of gauze and tape seemed heavy. Perhaps because I am a bit more tired. Pulling off the tape last time felt freeing, this time it feels like air is seeping out.

Gauze and Tape


But let’s be honest. This is mild in the grand scheme of things. I want to tell you some great things that have happened.

I’ve meet some incredible people going through the same thing I am at the cancer center. They are so open, and so willing to share their story. They chat me up as I walk by and want to know what is going on, and how I feel. Everyone has been so sweet, and willing to smile at me, even though they don’t know me! Why can’t people on the streets, or in the stores, do that? Why do we put our heads down and pretend like someone isn’t passing us? Well not I, any longer! I shall sprinkle my smile around like it’s glitter!

I opened a new Instagram account of “My Silverish Lining.” I’ve followed, and been followed, by these women who are sharing their story via pictures, and short posts. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We comment, ask questions, and really lend support. It’s a little community that surrounds it members and gives much needed love and virtual support. I’m truly impressed by these ladies that share! It is raw, emotional, and inspiring! I have only begun my journey and these women, they are warriors. It’s a reminder to keep going.

Another silverish lining: They tested my cancer antigen number before I began this chemo round. The nurse found it odd as they normally wait a month or two to test it. It mainly is a protein found in your blood that detects certain types of cancer. Before I began my treatments, I was at 1.7, and then after my first treatment… get this: 0.5. One damn treatment and that’s how it dropped. How amazing is that???

While this round of chemo was a bit tough on the body, and my mind, I will get through this. I’m not one to lay down and take a beating. I will rise, and continue to fight.

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