I’m a silver lining kind of girl. When something goes bad, I look for the silver lining. When life takes an unexpected turn, I look for the silver lining. Even when someone dies in my life, I look for that silver lining.
My silver lining outlook was tested two weeks before Christmas. I had self-diagnosed myself with a stomach bug, but after three days of sickness, I went to immediate care. They told me to haul ass to the Emergency Room and a week later, I walked out with a brand new scar that extended from my belly button to my pubic area and a poop bag. I shit you not. Fine… it’s not a poop bag, it’s a temporary colostomy bag.
Oh, and I almost forgot. My self-diagnosis was wrong. I have colon cancer.
The doctor told me I had an obstruction in my intestine, and that it had to be removed. Then he paused and said, “I’m positive it’s cancer.” I wasn’t shocked, and I wasn’t angry. I told him to do what he needed to do, and he did. He mentioned to me that they felt strongly that the cancer was all gone, but that I would have to do chemo just to prevent anything further. I just smiled and thanked him. He gave me an odd look.
The first day after the surgery was a bit rough. I apologized through my haze, to the nurses, for being a tad bitchy. They laughed at me and told me to not worry as they gave me more morphine. Good night!
As the hospital days went along, the doctor and nurses would comment how positive I was. I could only comment “Why wouldn’t I be? I am truly grateful!”
I did tell some of my friends, what was going on and they were all so wonderful. They would call or text me, and some even stopped by to visit. I would always be asked how I was doing, and my answer was always, “I’m good! How are you?” Some would reply, (with a self-imagined tone of “Cut the shit” came,) “No, really Heather. How are you?”
I guess they didn’t believe that I was doing well. I always had to launch into an explanation of why I was grateful and how my mind isn’t heavy with worry. I’m a positive person!
A few days after I came home, my friend Mandy – who essentially filled my mom shoes while I was gone, checked on me to see if I needed anything. I told her I was really good and just relaxing. She told me she was “really sorry all of this happened.” I explained to her why I’m not sorry for it all.
That’s when it happened! Mandy then gave me the supreme title! The mother of all honors! At least it was in my mind!
Wow! I was tickled. I was now “Queen of the Silver Lining”! Remember, I’m a Leo, so this new title proved I was definitely part of royalty!
I guess what I want to share with you is that while this could be viewed as a horrible turn of events, it could be so much worse. It’s in your perception, and I choose to take the crap that is handed to me and turn it into something positive. By the way, it’s taken me years to achieve this attitude.
Now pardon me while I go and check on the making of that crown!